


My Best Guy

by Mom_Nicole



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bucky is there for Steve, Happy Ending, M/M, sad Steve, steve has a bad mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 15:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17046062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mom_Nicole/pseuds/Mom_Nicole
Summary: Steve has a bad mission, Bucky is there for him like he always is <3





	My Best Guy

_Hey Barnes… you should get down to hanger three.’_  Tony’s voice comes over the intercom, interpreting Bucky and his book reading. **  
**

The brunette frowns, setting his book down on the coffee table and stands up, heading for the hanger quickly.

                                          ___________________

Once Bucky is filled in on what happened, everyone gives him the space to handle Steve. The blonde is still in the transport, still sitting on the bench that he sat down on when he got in the thing. Nat said Steve hasn’t moved sense he sat down and put his head in his hands and that’s how Bucky finds him.

Tony only told him what he knew, something happened during the mission, something when Steve was alone and he came back like this looking shaken to his core and Bucky doesn’t know if he has ever seen Steve that way, seen the way the blondes eyes look when he lifts his head to look at Bucky, the way they just seem so hollow and void of…..anything.

Bucky treads carefully, knowing right now Steve is like glass, he can see it the way the blonde holds himself, he’s barely hanging onto whatever control he has left deep within. He offers Steve his hand like he would a child and the blonde takes it tightly.

                                 _______________

Once back on their floor of the tower, Bucky proceeds to pull the blonde to their bathroom and starts slowly undressing him, noting all the places Steve hisses out in pain over a bruise here and there. Steve outright whimpers when Bucky makes him step out of his pants, noting his right ankle looks tender to the touch.

His husband is a mess, outside matching the inside right now, Bucky knows, the wounds will be healed soon enough, but the ones inside will take far longer. Steve doesn’t speak, but his eyes shine bright with tears he refuses to shed, they still hold hollowness, but it’s steadily getting replaced by a black hole of pain and Bucky knows when Steve falls over that edge, he will catch him.

                                                 _________________

He pulls the blonde in with him under the hot spray of water and starts slowly cleaning him with gentle hands. Washing the blood away, blood that doesn’t belong to Steve, Bucky checks all over his body for any open wounds and finds none. He takes his time, lets the bathroom fill with steam, bathing them in it.

When he has Steve rinse off, the blonde goes from just standing there letting himself get rinsed to suddenly hugging Bucky to him. The brunette goes easily, hugging back as Steve burrows his face in Bucky’s neck and just….starts to let go.

His breath starts to hitch and then it’s little cries and then those grow to sobs filled with despair and deep rooted pain and honestly Bucky hasn’t heard Steve sound like this sense his mother died.  All Bucky can do is hold him tightly, he doesn’t offer any words just yet, just the grounding touch of his body around Steve.

“They were all dead…”

Bucky almost misses the words against the blondes sobs and the sound of water running over them, but he hears it. Hears the words and they are dripping in sorrow.

“All their little bodies just…..dead...so many little kids just….we were to late….I failed them.”

Now that the words have come out Steve just clings to Bucky like he is the only thing keeping the blonde standing and Bucky….weeps with him, to see that kind of horror…..it was bad enough seeing the adults you couldn’t save, but…..little kids…..that was a extra kind of pain few could handle.

He understands now why Steve is taking this so hard, seeing that kind of thing would scar you for life, you would never be able to forget it and Bucky knew….knew those kinds of horrors….and he would never want Steve to see that kind of evil, but that isn’t how the world worked so all he could do is be there for Steve the way Steve is always there for him, the only words to leave his mouth are, “You didn’t fail them.”

                                            ___________________

He let’s Steve sob a good while, until there skin is pink from the hot water and Steve feels like he is gonna pass out from exhaustion. Bucky picks him up, thinks fuck it to toweling off and climbs into bed with his husband. Steve stays wrapped around him as much as humanly possible. He’s still crying and god, Bucky wishes the universe could stop hurting this man just one dam day.

Bucky holds him, he never sleeps, not even after Steve does fall asleep, Bucky stays awake and watches the blonde sleep, making sure he’s free of nightmares and gets his body some rest.                                     __________________

The rest of the week is betterish, but only just barely, Steve hardly speaks, he only eats because Bucky makes him and he only sleeps if Bucky is cuddling him hard core. It’s by the end of the week that Steve comes out of the bedroom with the shield and just…...looks at it for a long time as Bucky watches silently from the couch.

The blonde silently goes to the elevator and steps in and is then gone leaving Bucky not sure what’s going on, but waits it out. Steve comes down not ten minutes later and he actually looks…..better, like something has been lifted from his shoulders and he doesn’t have the shield anymore. The blonde crawls in Bucky’s lap on the couch and cuddles him like a small child and Bucky hugs back like always and kisses the side of his head.

“I gave the shield back to Tony.” Steve whispers into Bucky’s neck.

The brunette’s eyes widen, but he just keeps petting over the blondes hair and holding him close, waiting.

“I can’t do it anymore and….I think...you had the right idea about it….just no more fighting...coming home from the war….getting that life we never thought….we could have...I want it...I want you...I only want you sweetheart.” Steve whispers brokenly, sniffling, but leaning back so they are eye to eye.

Bucky frames his face in his hands and stares deep into those blue eyes that always make him think of forget-me-nots and he sees the truth behind the words, Steve means this. No more fighting, he’s finally ready to retire and Bucky….has never felt happier.

Would a day come when the blonde needed to do something to keep giving back, sure. Would it be in the form of fighting? No, there was a million ways to do that just like Bucky was with his garden and selling at the farmers market. No Steve was really ready to settle down with him, this last mission was to much for Steve he could see it in his eyes.

No Steve was ready to have the simple life with him and he was so ready.

“And I only want you babydoll, now and forever, ya hear?” Bucky mumbles before kissing his husband like it was the first time again.


End file.
